2 Years of Change, Chaos, Bliss and now Settlement

2 Years ago. Might as well be 200 years ago. It feels like yesterday and forever at the same time. 2 years ago, today I was enjoying my last day of a week in Maui with my wife, one of my best friends Tony Gamboa and his girlfriend Christie. It was a great vacation. Spent a lot of time in the pool and ocean, sightseeing, eating good food and even got to see New Order in concert while we were there. Not bad at all. For all of 2018, Tony and I were working as Directors (He as Facilities Director and myself as IT Director) for Golden Shore Medical. Golden Shore was an offshoot of Molina Healthcare who we worked for previously. When Dr. Mario Molina was let go by the board of directors of Molina in May of 2017, he was given first right of refusal to purchase a line of business. He chose to purchase the existing Molina Clinics and rebranded them as Golden Shore. Tony and I loved working for Dr. Molina and we would have easily spent the rest of our careers working for him. However, things weren’t going so well financially and we were in a bad contract with Molina Healthcare (who provided the majority of the patients we saw). We knew there was a chance that we might have to fold. During this vacation there was a feeling that I should start looking now rather than wait for things to unfold. So I started looking on that vacation. I was open to relocating so besides LA, I was also applying in Seattle, Portland, Central Coast and since I was in Hawaii at that moment I decided to look there as well. I mean why the hell not! I have always loved visiting the islands and always wondered what It would be like to live there. So, to make a long story short, I applied for a job as a Director of IT for Hawaii Health Systems, I interviewed and I got the job and from January 2019 to March 2020, my wife and I lived in Hawaii. What a trip. I mean I never expected that as part of my journey. But this is only part of my story of the past 2 years.

My last day of vacation on Maui, 2 years ago exactly. Little did I know then my life was about to turn upside down.

 Now that I have been in Santa Barbara for 7 months, I can reflect a bit more about things. It was such a whirlwind. I was alone on the islands for 3 months before my wife and dogs arrived. That part was very challenging. I didn’t have any real friends on the island at that point so there was a lot of self-reflection going on. I was struggling as I just had weight loss surgery 2 months before I moved to Hawaii. Food was always how I coped with stress and to have so much stress on me without my typical coping mechanism I spiraled down into some depressive episodes. Here I am, living in paradise, but I am alone and pretty miserable. Wow, didn’t see that coming. I think there is this expectation that if you live in Hawaii that it is so beautiful that how can someone be sad there. Well you can, and I was. I can see it more clearly now that I needed to go through this. I needed to be miserable in paradise. I get it. It was an amazing life lesson. The perception and the reality didn’t match. I had to learn how to live with that. To understand that there is more to this than just moving to Hawaii and starting life over. That just because you have the ability to run to a beautiful island that while it does shake things up for a moment, when the dust settles, the same issues are still there and those need to be addressed no matter what the location. Sometimes though, it takes for one to remove everything from their lives to figure out what exactly what you need.

My going way party at re:love in the park. A wonderful day.

 The job in Hawaii was a big disappointment as well. Well, looking back I can see why. I wasn’t looking at the opportunity for career growth and knowledge. I was looking at the opportunity to move to Hawaii. Those are 2 different things. The position paid very well and it had great benefits as I was a state employee. The work wasn’t difficult but it also wasn’t’ challenging for the right reasons. I worked in an old hospital behind Diamondhead. I had a tiny office but a great view. I could see all of Waikiki from where my team sat. It was stunning. But the work wasn’t fun or rewarding. I was ready to make another move to another position pretty quickly but the challenge was to remain on the island for at least a year. I owed that to my wife. So, I needed a remote position. I reached out to a company in Oregon that was a vendor to us when I was working at Golden Shore and a lot of my staff ended up working there. There was a manager position open but it was a for a team that did Data Conversion work for EMRs. I knew very little about the work but I knew how to manage people so I figure I might as well try this out. This job was the complete opposite. I was challenged from the get go. I had to quickly find my footing. I knew immediately I really liked my team but there were some personality conflicts with executive leadership and those on my team that was beyond repair. All I could do is try to protect my team, stand up for them and set expectations correctly. I was working 10-12 hours days. Since I was getting up at around 5am to start my day due to the time difference between Honolulu and Portland.

The parking lot of my old job at HHSC which was located at Leahi Hospital behind Diamond Head.

 After my first week I was talking to my boss and we agreed to give it 3 months and see how things go. She made the caveat of, “unless I get my dream job”. Of course. How could anyone deny you taking your dream job. So, we shook on it. And it was going ok. Then on a Friday evening in the less than 2 months later in August, my boss calls and suggests a virtual happy hour. I pour a glass of whiskey and jump on a call with her. She lets me know that she landed her dream job and was going to put in her 2 weeks. So suddenly I felt alone on an island again. She was a great support system for me as I navigated around unknown waters in this new position. As soon as she announced her departure, I was given more money. I knew what that meant. I was about to have a lot more work piled on me. I felt the urge to get the fuck out of there. So, I started looking for work on the islands. I met some recruiters and they easily got me in for some interviews at Queens Medical (which is the largest medical group on the islands). I was on my way back to LA on August 15th to spend some time and also DJ. The day I took off I received an offer to work as a Project Manager on some expansion work. It was 6-month contract which would could be extended. For me this was perfect, it got me out of my current position, kept me on the island for 6 more months and then I can try to look for something back mainland. During my trip to LA, I had planned to fly to Oregon so I can visit my team and took this as an opportunity to give my 2 weeks in person. Well I resigned, I was countered, I still decided to leave. One of my employees wrote a very impassioned letter to my leadership about me leaving and the current situation. That weekend I was reached out to by the CEO of the company. She let me know that they would make any reasonable accommodation for me to consider staying on. I wrote down a list of requirements that I would need to stay on and they met every single one. Wow. I wasn’t expecting any of that. So, I turned down the contract in Hawaii and kept on plugging away at my current job.

During our last week as residents of Hawaii. Although we both feel Hawaii will always be home but Santa Barbara isn’t a bad place to be. And to be honest I like the weather better here.

Then a little over a week later, UCSB contacts me about a position that I applied for. I have always wanted to live in Santa Barbara and my mom and aunt have both worked in higher education during their careers and there are some clear benefits in working in the UC system. Again, another long story but here is the gist. I applied. It took 3 months and 3 interviews. They flew me out in November for an in-person interview. I fell in love with the campus, the team, the culture and the area. I flew back to Hawaii and awaited my offer. I finally got the offer a few days before Thanksgiving. There was a bit of back and forth and I had to do a pros and cons list. Ultimately, I left it to my wife. She didn’t want to leave Hawaii but she also didn’t want to go back to LA. She was over it and I can understand why. LA to me was always home though. We had both thought about retiring in the central coast though. That is where we got married and we loved the area. I gave her two options. We take the UCSB job and move to Santa Barbara by March 1 or we can stay in Hawaii for a few months but move to Portland or LA. She knew my choice but I wanted to make her a part of this, her choice would be to stay in Hawaii (at the time) but she knew that wasn’t really an option. Luckily for me and us, she chose wisely. After Thanksgiving I put in my notice. I gave them 4 weeks so I could tie things up and also I arranged to start in person on January 2nd at UCSB for 2 weeks and then fly back to Hawaii to do the whole move while working remotely for 6 weeks.

Home.

Then there was our home in San Gabriel. We put it up for rent when we moved to Hawaii and our tenants were great at the beginning and then in summer things turned. Although we had a property management company, I found being a landlord very difficult especially doing it from 2500 miles away. The tenants also wanted to get out of the lease so it worked to our benefit to allow it. We decided to put the house up for sale in February of this year and quickly got multiple offers. We selected a buyer and worked on getting the house ready for sale. On top of that I had to find a new place for us to live. When I was in SB in January I took some tours of some properties. Like Hawaii, it was very difficult to find a spot that would accept dogs. However, I found one about 5 min from campus. It is a new community and the amenities and grounds were very similar to the condo we rented in Hawaii Kai. So, we bit the bullet and we had our spot ready for a March 7th move in. The first week we got back the wife focused on moving the stuff in our garage out and I stayed in Santa Barbara and got things ready. Finally, on March 8th, my dogs, my wife and I moved in to our new spot in Goleta. Whew!!

And then COVID hit. Great. We closed on house on March 13th. The next week everything locked down. I am so grateful that we were able to close prior to the lock down and it appears we moved in the nick of time as well. Since then it has been crazy. I am sure it is crazy for you and I won’t bore you with the details. This post is long enough already. The main thing I wanted to convey was that this was 2 years of chaos. Ups and downs and sideways. It feels nice to finally feel settled. Even in the midst of a pandemic and our normal lives are now altered forever in some way, I still feel like I am settled and that is a nice feeling. Despite the political bullshit, the economic crisis, the lockdowns and the lack of social activities, I feel at peace finally. My wife, my dogs and I are happy and settled. I plan on keeping things this way for a while.

Dance Culture Vibes Episode 5

I was recently interviewed for the Dance Culture Vibe podcast. The podcast is hosted by Sam who is from Australia but has been in LA the past several years. His podcast is focused on origins of the scene from all over over the globe. We had a great conversation regarding the early 90’s scene, how drugs impact the vibes at events, eastside vs. westside events in Los Angeles and a whole let more. Take a listen below.

https://podbay.fm/p/dance-culture-vibe/e/1597752005

6 Months Back Mainland

Time during the pandemic is a strange thing. It is fast and slow. The past 6 months have gone by very fast for me for the most part. But other things are painstakingly slow. It Is the middle of September right now and the thought during the beginning of the pandemic was that we we would be somewhat back to normal near fall. Now as we approach Fall, things have not returned back to normal in the slightest and I think we are getting more accustomed to living within the confines of the pandemic. We moved back to California a little over 6 months ago. 2 weeks before the lockdowns. I am so glad we moved when we did. I can’t imagine what it would be like things were altered even by a little bit. People tell me, quite often, that I am the luckiest guy they know. I still firmly believe that you create your own luck by being prepared, staying ahead of circumstances, remaining adaptable and leaving yourself open to opportunity. But in this case, some real luck was at hand most certainly.

On the bluffs overlooking Coal Beach.

I have to say I really love living here at the southern part of the Central Coast of California. I miss Hawaii. I really do, but being here for quarantine is pretty ideal. I mean. if I am going have to be stuck somewhere, why not be in a beautiful spot, by the ocean, with temperate weather and low amounts of COVID cases. It has it all. We were supposed to be back in Hawaii this month for vacation but the current quarantine and lockdown measures on the islands have stopped that from happening. Santa Barbara is really the Hawaii of California. Even at the gas station the attendant greeted me with a “Howzit” and I was instantly taken back to Hawaii. My wife and I have had moments where the scenery, the vibe, the people almost was an exact fit to Hawaii, although I will admit I do love the weather here quite a bit more. As much as I miss Hawaii, being closer to family and friends has been really nice. We have been having friends use our place to get away from LA for the weekends. It has been nice to have friends come up and visit that is for sure. And things are pretty open here. A lot of outside dining, people are respectful of the mask wearing and there doesn’t seem to be this sense of anxiety that I have noticed in Los Angeles.

The lagoons on the UCSB campus

The one thing I do miss is DJing. One of the main motivators to move back to CA was to have more opportunities to DJ. Well that evaporated. Since the pandemic started I have DJed twice. Once was in June at a private party in Orange County and the other at a Beach Party in August. I have taken the mandatory measures at and after these events to feel safe (masks, getting tested, etc). I know there is a lot of controversy going on regarding events during these times and after my beach gig last month I decided that I would take the rest of the year off and just focus on other musical endeavors. As much as I miss performing it just doesn’t make sense at the moment (at least for me). The gigs will come back eventually and right now I am trying to use this time to focus on other things (to various degrees of success).

My last and almost only gig of 2020. Was fun while it lasted.

So despite all that is going on in the world, I feel blessed. Blessed to be in Santa Barbara. Blessed for my family and I to be healthy in these trying times. Blessed that I have been able to continue working. Blessed to be a part of the UC system as an employee. Blessed to be close to the ocean. I could go on and on. Yeah 2020 has sucked, but it has also brought with it a reframing of what is important to me. I really have everything I need and more. I am blessed to be here. I am glad that this opportunity was provided at just the right time when I needed. The turnout could have been a lot worst. The universe has bestowed me the most trying 2 years of my life and I came out of the other side better for it. I hope you are doing well where you are at. I hope this whole thing isn’t bogging you down too much. Remember to breathe…

New adventures of the stay at home DJ.

So, this is the new norm. In an instant every DJ at every level of fame and popularity has become a bedroom DJ. Almost immediately after the shelter at home orders were given, DJ’s took to Twitch, Facebook and other platforms and started live streaming. Quite a few of my friends were already doing it quite frequently. I even was going to start toying with it back in 2017 but I never really had the chance to set things up properly in my studio.

My new Zoom Q2n 4K. Capturing the magic.

So along comes the pandemic and now everyone is jumping in on the live stream bandwagon. We even have virtual festivals now. It is quite interesting to see how this movement Is growing. People are stepping up the game. Multiple cameras, logos, scrolls and chats are now common. The look of the broadcast is becoming just as important as the music. Maybe a bit more.

At first, I was very hesitant to get in on the craze. Firstly, it was for logistical reasons. I had moved back to California on March 1st and my DJ gear was being shipped and was not scheduled to arrive to our new place until April 10th. So even if I wanted to jump into the live stream fray, I had no means to play music to do so. Secondly, I didn’t know what I could add to the conversation. I mean if I was going to do this, I would want to do something different. Stand out a bit more I suppose. I guess I could just DJ and that would be fine but doesn’t seem engaging.

The new XDJ-XZ (Bottom) with the DJS-1000 Sampler (Top)

Also, I knew little about the whole livestreaming thing but lucky for me I have friends that were all about it and could provide me advise. When my gear arrived two weeks ago I knew I wanted to sell my current DDJ-1000 controller and upgraded to the new XDJ-RX (full review coming soon). I love that it was an all in one and also that I could use my DJS-1000 with it seamlessly. I quickly ordered the new controller and was able to quickly sell the old one. Ok with that solved now I had to get a new camera. I already have the older Zoom Q2n and since I would like to get multiple angles, I ordered a new 4k version. It just arrived 2 days ago and last night I got it up and running with OBS and also checked to make sure that I was getting audio from my soundcard directly into my feed. So far it looks good. I will test it out tonight or tomorrow morning. I have been asked to be a part of some live stream shows and if my testing looks good I will get on those as soon as Sunday.

I know I will want whatever I do I will try to engage a bit. I want to make sure that I it is more of a conversation rather than a monologue. I was thinking of doing more of a Happy Hour. Make cocktails, review craft beer and chat during my mixes. I don’t have a huge space where my DJ equipment / studio is so finding the right camera angles will be a challenge it is something to work on. As long as it is an outlet and fun and people seem to enjoy then why not. Might as well try it out and see how it fits me.

It has been an interesting 4 weeks! How about for you?

What a strange 4 weeks.

Today is March 29th. It was exactly 1 month ago today that I spent my last full day as a resident of Hawaii. A lot has changed in the world since then.

On Friday, February 28th after packing our POD the previous day, getting our rental ready to be inspected by the property manager, dropping off my car at the port for shipment, selling our moped and various other things we had to do prior to leaving the island, we finally settled into the Marriot Resort in Waikiki for 2 nights to relax before leaving to Los Angeles on March 1st.

The morning of the February 29th I walked around Waikiki in the morning reflecting on my time on the islands. I think there is misconception that I hated living in Hawaii. Nothing could be further from the truth. I loved living there. Did I find it challenging? Absolutely but that is why I loved it also. I was able to face some fears and issues by moving out there. It helped me grow. I needed that. I see that now more clearly. For 2019, this island was my home. I will always cherish that.

So why did I leave? Now only if I could move all my friends and family there then I could probably have stuck it out. The thing is Hawaii couldn’t replace the nagging feeling I had that I just simply missed the people that mean the world to me. I am so glad I was able to spend 14 months there and maybe one day I will return but for now I am glad to be back in California (especially now). Also, the job at UCSB was a great opportunity. I am glad I decided to do this.

When we got back on March 1st to LA the Coronavirus pandemic was still an issue that seemed far away but looming in the background. The first cases in Hawaii were starting to show up (Today they now have 122) and it was more and more starting to become topic around work. We had moved into our rental on March 7th. I went to Target to get some stuff for our new place. Things felt normal. No issues with getting toilet paper and paper towels. That first week after we moved in, things still felt kind of normal. We ate out, drove around a lot, went to wineries and breweries. The wife, dogs and I were settling into our new life in Santa Barbara. Well, that changed quickly. All of a sudden, at work, there was a need to move students and staff off campus. In the matter of a few days the once vibrant and energetic UCSB campus had turned into a ghost town. On top of all this we were selling our house in San Gabriel and were a week away from closing. I was so nervous that the buyer was going to back out due to the corona virus but on March 13th we officially closed. Whew!

Social distancing on the Central Coast

I was planning to come down to LA to DJ and hang out with friends on March 15th. That of course didn’t happen. It was the weather at first that we cancelled but then the “shelter at home” orders came in. The moment I knew things were different forever was when Disneyland closed down. That is was a “Whoa” moment for me. As the world was quickly becoming a place I don’t recognize, I am still going into the office every day. Mainly because I don’t have a desk at home as all my furnishing and gear are still in the POD container on a boat in the middle of the Pacific (it will arrive on 04/10). My boss and I are forming a skeleton crew really. I pretty much self-isolate in my office. I am grateful for that. I need a little normalcy in my life right now and being able to go in helps provide that. Lucky for me I work less than 10 min from home.

Other than that, I am at home, like the rest of you. Watching Netflix (Tiger King, OMFG) and cooking more. We venture out to walk the dogs, get a little exercise by walking around and go to the grocery store when needed. Luckily Santa Barbara county is a bit sheltered from what is going on in LA and it hasn’t been as chaotic. Things have slowed to a halt but there are signs of life here and there and I am thankful for that. I was hoping for a different kind of homecoming but I am grateful I am still employed, still healthy and still hopeful. I know a lot of friends that have been hit hard with live music and filming being shut down. It is hard to watch what this is doing to entire industries and also to small business. I have been making it a focus to do what I can to help support small business during this time. They are especially being hit hard and if I can support with my dollars I will. I hope you do the same.

A pause in life can have benefits. Especially getting to appreciate the things around you.

April is around the corner now and I don’t see much changing for any of us in the near future although I do feel the next few weeks will tell us a lot more. I am trying to strike a balance of not being on Social Media a lot but also staying engaged with friends and family. I have been contacting people more directly now. Working on keeping my relationships intact as we all adapt to a new world. And honestly, there is too much misinformation going on out there. Everyone is entitled to their opinion of course but the times for picking political sides and conspiracy theories is not now. It is disheartening to see us facing a common enemy and yet still be so selfish and divided. I get it, people are scared, because it is a scaring fucking time right now. But don’t let that effect your humanity. What I find comfort in is that I am spending more time with my wife and my dogs. We are becoming stronger during this. I am find myself embracing the little things more. Looking at the ocean, snuggling with my dogs, breathing the fresh air and looking into my wife’s eyes. Things I should never take for granted are now front and center. We can get  through this. We have got through worst as a people. Just don’t lose your humanity. Take care of yourself and those around you.